I’m on my own again.

I’m leaving today. Traveling alone has its perks. I’m more mobile, I have less baggage, and I can actually catch up on my reading lag on those extra hours of waiting. But the concept of being A-L-O-N-E on this trip does kind of makes me sad. I’m simply not used to it anymore. 🙁

This also happens to be my first solo flight to any Asian country for the first time in YEARS. Nope, I’ve never been to China. The last time I was ever on a plane bound for an Asian country was when I first flew to Japan in 1996!

But…duty calls, and I have to make this trip.

On the bright side, I’m pretty sure that China is worth seeing, and the exposure I’m bound to have there would be worth all the time and effort. So definitely I’m going on an adventure! It’s just a four-hour journey, and the time difference is a measly one hour (just like the Philippines).

Do keep me company on this trip. I’ll be “twittering” as I go, so you can follow me. The HTML badge below is on my sidebar as well. 🙂 It will be oh-so fun!

Of course, I hope to blog from a different world, different time zone. I’m crossing my fingers. For now, excuse me while I go prepare my stuff. 🙂

We never met in person.

Out of the blue, one day I got a friendly call from Ms. Tonette Binsol. I don’t know how she got hold of my cellphone number. But someone like her had resources, and lots of connections. People connections. So it was not really surprising. Just the same, I was flattered that she knew me at all.

The call, as it turned out, was made in order to convey her request for me to remove the link to an interview article featuring her at Philippines Today. Of course, I asked her why.

Hesitatingly, she tried to explain. I couldn’t exactly remember what the main reason was – all I could remember was that the article raised the hackles of some people, and she thought that removing the article in question was a solution.

For the life of me, I couldn’t understand what the fuss was all about. The interview was done in good faith. It only sought to reveal the person responsible for several cyber-NGO projects, to raise public awareness of the projects that she and fellow Filipinos were involved in. She was the prime mover for the Tulong Pinoy Movement, the brains behind the Iskolar Pinoy project, OFW-Shien network, migrant school for Filipinos in Japan, plus a host of other civic-oriented activities. The list seems endless. Indeed, she was the epitome of a relentless, selfless person who strived to help others in need.

She sought to be heard. She was in practically every mailing list available for Filipinos working and living in Japan.

So what was the trouble all about? Perhaps because sometimes, the greatest among us becomes the most susceptible to criticism and rejection. Sometimes the most diligent among us becomes the object of disdain and ridicule. Or simply perhaps the ones who are most willing to do the job can excel on what the rest of us can’t and won’t do. It’s easier to stand back and criticize mistakes than to do the job yourself.

She emailed incessantly. So much so that moderators of our mailing list decided to put her in our banned member’s list. For us, there was so much seemingly irrelevant information in her emails, things that did not really concerned the lives of the students and scholars in Tsukuba. And wouldn’t it always seem that way, if one did not really give a damn about the advocacies promoted by another person of a different ideology?

But no matter. She found other channels, other ways to disseminate her information and advocacy campaigns. She was…relentless.

I removed the link on the current front page of Philippines Today, but nevertheless kept the article in question in our archives. That’s the reason why it still comes up in search engines. But Tonette Binsol didn’t seem to mind anymore. I supposed that she was too busy minding her affairs and those of other people she wanted to help.

It came as a complete shock for me to hear that Tonette Binsol joined her Maker today, July 10, 2007, at 10:26 am. She succumbed to severe brain infarction brought about by aneurysm.

Why is it that the most productive among us have the shortest time on earth? Why is it that those who only wanted to live for others have their lives viciously taken away from them?

Like that link which I had removed from the front page, Tonette Binsol is gone. But her heritage, the inspiration she imparted to other people, and the testimony of her life will definitely live on. Her links, real and virtual, will remain alive.

And like that article which still remained in our archives, Tonette Binsol will live through the lives of the people she had touched.

Perhaps she didn’t always do things right, and perhaps not everyone is satisfied with what she had done. But tell me, who should be the rightful judge of that? From where I stand, she did great things that only few of us could ever hope to emulate. And for that, she is damn special.

I didn’t think that it would come this soon – but I now join the rest of the Filipinos in Japan and around the world in mourning the passing of one of the most influential Filipinos I’ve ever known. May her legacy leave on.

Goodbye, sayonara Tonette – and may you find eternal peace and rest you rightfully deserve.

When Aya turned three, I considered bringing her to the photo studio for the traditional shichi-go-san photos – a perfect opportunity to take souvenir photos of her wearing a traditional Japanese kimono. But on the day when we finally went to Studio Alice, a photo studio near our place, it was full of people and the staff were too busy entertaining their customers. We decided to just leave and come back next time.

Days and months passed by, and I completely forgot about the shichi-go-san.

Days before Aya’s 5th birthday, I realized that two years had already passed since I last thought about bringing her to the said photo studio. I didn’t want to wait like we did last time, so I called the store and made an advanced reservation. A smart decision! 🙂

Well, as you can see from the pictures above, it was a rather successful photoshoot. You may view the rest of her pictures at our Flickr album.

So what is the shichi-go-san, anyway?

According to Wikipedia:

Shichi-Go-San (???, literally “seven-five-three”) is a traditional rite of passage and festival day in Japan for three and seven year-old girls and three and five year-old boys, held annually on November 15.

Here is a more detailed description found at Kids Web Japan.

What I couldn’t figure out, though, is why this “rite of passage” does not seem to include five-year-old girls. Would anybody care to enlighten me why? However, it seems to me that the photo studios are not really that particular about a kid’s actual age. Having photos taken at a studio to mark the occasion is different from actually observing the tradition at the temple.

Well, personally I’m not so much concerned about the tradition as I am about taking home those wonderful photos to gawk over and treasure for years to come. The whole deal didn’t come cheap, but I didn’t mind at all. I’m a parent, so don’t blame me for splurging on my one and only daughter once in a while. And it’s for her birthday, after all. 🙂

Aya’s lovely photos now adorn the walls of our living room. The package includes blow-up photos of her wearing a traditional Japanese kimono (my choice, so it’s red!) and a Western-style gown (her Lola’s choice). And because we went there on her birth month, we also got a few extra goodies.

Next time I’ll write about our experience at the photo studio. The whole experience is worth a separate blog post, believe me. 🙂

I got double-tagged by TeacherJulie and Pining to blog about the songs when I was 18. Eighteen! That is so 20th century, lol. But here they are:

Baby Baby – Amy Grant

I actually have Amy Grant’s CD, Heart in Motion, which features this song. Such tender lyrics, quite fitting for a mom singing to her newborn baby – which was said to be her inspiration for writing this song:

Baby, baby
I’m taken with the notion
To love you with the sweetest of devotion.
Baby, baby
My tender love will flow from
The bluest sky to the deepest ocean.
Stop for a minute
Baby, I’m so glad youre mine, yeah
You’re mine.

However, her MTV shows her frolicking with a guy, and nothing suggests that this song was actually created with a baby in mind. Btw, where in the world is Amy Grant nowadays? Does anybody know?

More Than Words – Extreme

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
Coz I’d already know

How can I ever forget this song? It blasted from the radio of every commuter jeepney I rode back then. And if that wasn’t enough, it was played over and over in the malls and stores. Any guy with good guitar skills and a voice would sing this song, just to impress the girls. And for good reason: this is such a romantic song. Those lyrics. They just drip, they can make you woozy with emotions. The whole song simply oozes with love and romance. Everyone, take out your lighters, and watch the video here:

(Everything I Do) I Do It for You – Bryan Adams

I can’t help it – there’s nothin’ I want more
I would fight for you – I’d lie for you
Walk the wire for you – ya I’d die for you
Ya know it’s true
Everything I do – I do it for you.

Oh yeah? How about doing the laundry for me? Or cleaning the house? 😛

Seriously, this is another romantic song, and Bryan Adams’ raspy rendition makes it sound even more emotional. Like someone being tortured martyred for love.

Personally, I don’t really think this was an appropriate song for the movie Robin Hood (starring Kevin Costner, back then with more hair and less forehead). I just didn’t think that the love story angle fit into the whole prince-of-thieves concept. Oh well.

Watch the video, and see a really, really young-looking Christian Slater (also with more hair and less forehead). 🙂

When a Man Loves a Woman – Michael Bolton

Oh wow. Is this post dripping already or what? I remember watching at SM the movie of the same title, starring Andy Garcia and Meg Ryan, the queen of romantic comedies. Unfortunately, that movie only proved to be a rather poor vehicle for Little Miss Sunshine of Hollywood. I mean, come on, Meg Ryan as an alcoholic, abusive wife and mother? The storyline was terrible. Ugh.

So can you guess what year it was? 🙂

Ok, now I’m supposed to tag 5 people. So let me call on Kathy, Sheila, Wil, BW, and Zherwin.

The rules:
1. Go to www.popculturemadness.com
2. Select the year you turned 18
3. Get all nostalgic over the hit songs of the year
4. Write about it
5. Pass this tag onto 5 others

How should one measure blog growth? Yuga, one of the most famous bloggers in the Filipino blogosphere, suggests the following indicators of blog growth:

• # of subscribers
• Technorati ranking
• Alexa ranking
• Ratified.org

Sure, rankings are good. It gives you an idea of how far up or far down you are with respect to other bloggers. And if it is indeed your goal to climb to the top – whatever “top” represents – then a quarterly or biannual evaluation would be in order.

Numbers are good. In fact, I deal with numbers everyday. In my field of work, I measure certain parameters in order to determine whether I’ve succeeded or not in my goals. I get measured myself. I am evaluated in terms of output, which in concrete terms translates to the number of publications, patents, workshops, conferences attended. It is a way to determine my efficiency and range.

I’ve only one complaint about this type of evaluation. Focusing on numbers doesn’t reveal who I really am. For instance, the number of publications doesn’t really indicate if I’m a good scientist or not. It basically boils down to the question of quality over quantity. There are Nobel prize winners who produced only a couple of publications in their lifetime, and yet they changed the world. Would my patents for some gizmos be worth anything if they didn’t make our lives better?

For me, blogging is a hobby. A way to unwind. A way to express myself. Now why the hell should I deal with numbers when it comes to something I consider as a hobby? Isn’t it enough for me to deal with all those numbers at work already? I’ve long deplored the fact that cold, hard evaluation of someone’s performance is a decidedly masculine way of doing things. You don’t get evaluated as a person. Just cold, hard numbers.

If I gave you my Alexa ranking, for instance, would that really tell you how much of an impact I’ve made on your thoughts? If I gave you my Technorati ranking, would that tell you about the quality of my blog?

What I’m saying is, blog growth should be measured based on an individual’s goals. I think every blogger should first consider what goals they want to achieve with their blogs. Evaluation should then be done in consideration of those goals.

Here I am blogging early in the morning. This is a departure from my usual habit, that of blogging either right after dinner, or late at night after everyone else is asleep. Rarely do I blog in the mornings. There just isn’t enough time in the morning. Everyone is rushing off to leave the house, myself included.

Listen to this article

I realize, though, that blogging is taking too much of my time. It’s taking away time that I could just spend whiling away, relaxing after a hard day at work, or just spending some quality time with my daughter whom I don’t get to see during the daytime, or for at least 10 hours every working day. That’s what happens when I blog after dinner. And when I blog late at night…well, I usually end up spending more time than necessary, and I end up with puffy eyes the following day.

So like it or not, morning seems to be the best time. Blogging can be addictive, yes. But we should exercise some control and discipline on our habits. That is one of the reasons why I put “blogger” towards the last when I describe myself. Although it may be hard to realize for those of you out there who’ve only known me through my blog, offline I’ve a larger than life role as a wife, mother, and yes, researcher. It’s hard enough to juggle those roles. And when deadlines approach, I find myself excusing from blogging altogether.

Don’t get me wrong. I love blogging. It just takes too much time. If only there was a way to blog our thoughts without having to sit here in front of the computer. If only there was a way to bloghop without leaving the confines of my bed…or toilet. lol

So what about you? What are your blogging habits? Do you blog early in the morning or late at night? How do you determine what time is best for you?

I don’t have to convince anyone about my being weird. My wicked sisters are totally convinced that their Ate is one of the weirdest persons on the planet. Read on to know why they thought so.

Lest I forget, this is in response to SexyMom’s tag (also known as a meme): write 6 weird things about yourself.

1. I’ve never had my ears pierced.
   Mom didn’t have my ears pierced when I was little. Then I decided for myself that I’ll never have my ears pierced…ever. I think it goes against what I consider to be natural. To “mangle” my earlobe just in order to put a piece of metal there, for purely aesthetic reasons…well, I don’t get it. And I’ll never get it. If you ever saw me on occasions wearing earrings, trust me, they’re clip-ons.
2. I was a female magnet for attracting weirdos.
   I attracted a whole bunch of them. But I won’t go into the sordid boring details.To those who tried courting me and might be reading this blog – yep, I definitely thought you guys were weirdos. And one of you was a wacko who actually thought I was in love with him, heh. In your dreams!
3. I’ve developed an acute perception of smell.
   I think this came about because of certain circumstances in my life, and I do think that pregnancy had something to do with it. They say that women develop a heightened sense of smell during their pregnancies. It was true for my case. But it seems that it has never left me, because until now I can still pick up scents like a rabid dog. Sometimes it works to my disadvantage, because I’d smell funny things that aren’t even smelled by other people. One time, I entered one of our lab rooms and smelled something funny. I immediately called one of our members to check it out – and although he claimed to have smelled it the moment he entered the room, a few minutes later he wasn’t so sure anymore. I ended up feeling like the boy girl who cried wolf. I opened the room and let it aerate to eliminate the smell.
4. I don’t have the tolerance for wearing heels and other ladies’ shoes.
   I’m a sneakers person. I’ve had excruciating experiences wearing heels, which I am forced to wear during formal events like conferences. Those are death shoes for me. Two of my toes “died” when I was forced to wear them for more than 12 hours straight. Let’s not even talk about the blisters on my heels! I’ve come to the conclusion that I have Shrek feet, and no amount of squeezing will ever make my feet conform to those shoes. Nowadays, whenever I go to conferences, I bring my shoes with me. As soon as my presentation is over, within the soonest possible time, I switch back to my good ol’ sneakers. Never mind if I was wearing a suit!
5. I still keep my two premolars which were removed when I had braces.
   I think of them as my “sacrificial lambs.” I had to lose them in order to gain my wonderfully sweet, orthodontically corrected smile. They remind me that sometimes, we have to lose in order to gain. It’s a wonderful lesson in life. Anybody wants to see the premolars? They’re still wrapped in gauze. The original gauze.
6. I’ve never had a girl buddy. Don’t ask me why, but all of my close buddies were male. I don’t want to over-psychoanalyze myself on this one. I’m just stating a fact.

   I had a close buddy in college – we did a lot of things together. We jogged around the academic oval at UPD, we ate at Rodic’s, watched movies at SM City, spent long hours discussing religion, politics, teaching, students, quantum mechanics, relationships, life in general. We spent hours at the library studying together.

   His name is Baggy. I later married him.

I hope you had fun reading. 🙂 I’m tagging the following people:

Karmi – the new kid on the block, now blogging from Chile. I’m touched that she has been inspired to blog.

Dimaks – fellow Tsukuburg resident and TsukubaDai student.

Bill Mitsuru – one of the finest writers in my blogroll. So let’s see how “crooked” you are. 🙂

I didn’t always blog. I did it the old-fashioned way: I kept a diary. I started as early as high school. I don’t know what happened to that first diary, but I managed to maintain my diary-writing throughout the succeeding years. The earliest intact diary I still have with me was started in 1990, around the time when I was just starting my nightmare sophomore year as a Physics student at UPD. Here is an excerpt, quoted word for word and unedited, from an entry dated June 22, 1990:

“Classes in Manila are suspended! Though there is no storm signal raised for the area, the “damages” incurred due to the insistent downpour of rain – particularly the perennial flooding of most parts of Mmla (Metro Manila – my note) – forced DECS to to reconsider its earlier announcement/decision of holding classes today…

 

“…Again, as I look around the vicinity, I can’t help but wonder what those officials concerned are doing to help ameliorate this present situation. As far as I know, this flooding problem has always existed for the last 15 years. After such a long period of existence and bringing of damage and inconvenience to the Filipino people, they are still here, threatening to bring more. Whatever happened to those funds given by foreign countries, especially Japan, intending to aid us in solving this flood problem? Every year Metro Manila sinks in obscurity and disgust. The Filipino people stand helpless and unable to do something to make their habitat a place fit for human beings to thrive. Worse, those people in the higher seats who have all the power and authority to bring about change are the ones who don’t do anything at all.”

Amen to that! Even if that entry was written 17 years ago, the issue has remained unsolved. I used to live in a place near Malabon, the flood capital of Metro Manila, before transferring to Tondo. In both areas I experienced wading through dark, murky waters during the worst floods of the rainy season. To those who are still living in those areas, tell me, has anything changed since then? I seriously doubt it.

Anyway, this post isn’t really about the floods of Metro Manila. 🙂 Sure, I’ve changed medium, but one thing has essentially remained the same: I love writing down my thoughts. Diary-writing, blogging, even in whatever form it may evolve into in the future, I will always write.

Sonnie of Sonnie’s Porch once commented that he couldn’t really reconcile my work (doing science) to my love of blogging. I do think that there is a common misconception about scientists being a serious bunch of people – something that SexyMom hinted at when she interviewed me. That scientists don’t concern themselves with other things aside from what they do inside the lab. But scientists can be writers, too, can’t they? Chuck out the stats, traffic, monetizing and other networking frills and gimmicks, and you’re left with the essential core that justifies blogging’s existence: self-expression through writing. I particularly admire AnnaManila’s style of writing; as a true writer, she confesses to editing and reviewing her entry before posting it online. I do think we owe it to our readers to 1) check for misspellings and grammatical errors, 2) make a coherent post – otherwise, whatever it is that we’re trying to say becomes lost, and 3) avoid parroting what someone else has already said or written about the matter, without even bothering to put in what we really thought of it.

It’s a big, growing universe out there, this place we call the blogosphere. We would want to stake out a place that is truly our own, something that reflects our identities, aspirations, thoughts, dreams, and yes, ambitions. We would want to connect with real people, and communicate to them our thoughts.

Some people who lived before our time arrived and left with nary a ripple on the lives of other people living on the other side of the planet. But now – you and I are now in the realm of infinite possibilities. The blogosphere is exploding like a humongous universe that knows no bounds.

This blog – this is my voice in the blogosphere fugue. Not everyone will hear me, and not everyone will be interested in what I have to say (and certainly not even care what I had for lunch). I will not be the “greatest blogger” who ever lived. But years down the road, even when I am gone and all, people will still stumble upon this niche and hear the stories of one named “Kathy” and how she aspired to be heard.

And to those who care to listen now – I just want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Time flies. And as for growing children, time flies even faster. How could it have been five years already since we took home this sleeping jewel in our arms?

The day after Aya was born, Baggy and I just stared at this tiny breathing, wailing, demanding (don’t you dare take your eyes off me), red and toothless thing – you mean we really have to take this home with us? As first-time parents, we were fraught with anxiety and fear.

Sleepless, countless nights followed. We lost track of time; day and night blurred into each other. Food became something we just shoved into our mouths to keep ourselves going and going and going like the Energizer rabbit. We were pushed beyond the limits we previously thought we would never dare cross.

All because of her.

I almost couldn’t believe that it has been five years. Five challenging, but glorious years. Aya has become such an amazing, talented kid. Maybe I’m just saying that because she’s my daughter. But how else can you describe someone who:

• At age 1 can already speak comprehensible words
• At age 2 can sing Ang Bayan Ko
• At age 3 can speak Japanese and Filipino (Tagalog) fluently
• At age 4 can speak a third language, English (with slang pa hehe)
• Can now play the piano with both hands
• Can write her name, and all the letters of the alphabet
• Can play the game “Mahjong” on the computer – and finish it, too!
• Can read phonetically simple words such as “can,” “bat,” and “dog”

Perhaps some of those things are not out the ordinary, but are completely normal for someone her age. But for me those are amazing. Equally amazing is the opportunity to watch her develop and grow into a unique individual. Not like me, not like her Tatay. Different, and uniquely her own.

So on this day, I count the years, and I count the blessings. Happy birthday to you, my dear girl. May you grow up to be the best person you can be. Your Tatay, Titas, Titos and the rest of the family will be here to cheer you on.

Gifts? Oh, she got some lovely presents. Our gift for her would be a little later – I’ll blog about it when the time comes. But for now, special mention goes to Tita Karen and family for these wonderful things:

Aya’s first-ever t-shirt that has her picture on it! 🙂 The other one (with the bigger picture) is a mousepad (do you think I can make money selling mousepads with her face on it? Heh.). Anyway, thanks a lot to the Sacdalan family! Of course, thanks a lot, too, to Tito Ricky and Tita Jeanet, and Tita Lai and Lola Genny for their gifts. Lovely. Just lovely. You made this day special for her.

Question: What do we and former Japan Prime Minister Koizumi have in common?

Answer: Except for the obvious observation that we held the same the “Mental Commitment Robot” named “Paro,” none. 😀

Of course, there are dozens of these babies, and it’s quite unlikely that we held exactly the same Paro unit as PM Koizumi did, but can you tell the difference? 😛

Who or what is Paro, actually?

As I already mentioned, Paro, which is actually a nickname for “Pa-sonaru Robotto” (Personal Robot), is a “Mental Commitment Robot.” Paro, designed after a baby harp seal, is a stuffed animal robot and was developed by Dr. Takanori Shibata of AIST. According to the information found in the AIST website:

Since ancient times, animals have always played a role in man’s life. Although the merits of animal therapy are positively recognized in the areas of medical care and welfare, there are difficulties to introduce this form of therapy at hospitals and nursing homes for fear of the associated problems such as allergy, zoonotic infections, biting, scratching etc. Additionally, it is also difficult for those who live alone to take care of pets. It is often forbidden to raise animals in housing complexes. Under such circumstances, Paro was developed in order to meet the demands for a robot pet which can coexist with humans.

 

This white-haired “Paro” is modeled after a baby harp seal. Seals are not so common in daily life and thus the robot would not draw upon too much of a comparison with real life seals. Paro is the world’s first “Mental Commitment Robot” and gives pleasure and comfort to humans through interaction.

 

Since 2000, Paro has been a great success in a series of demonstration experiments concerning robot therapy which have been implemented at the pediatric ward of Tsukuba University Hospital, adult day-care centers and nursing care facilities. Moreover, with the aim of improving robot-assisted therapy, further improvements have been made to Paro, leading to the completion of the 7^th generation Paro.

 

Paro has received widespread acclaim not only in Japan but also in Britain, Norway, Italy, UAE, Korea, Australia and the U.S., among others. The exhibit of “Paro and Robot Therapy” has started at the National Museum of Science and Technology in Sweden in May 2003 and is attracting increasing attention. The exhibit will continue for the next three years.

This furry robot has already claimed a Guiness World Record. I’ve already seen pictures of Paro in newspapers and magazines, but I didn’t realize how cute and cuddly it was until I held it in my arms. 😉 It opened and closed its eyes and “cried” out with a sound that was a cross between a puppy crying and a cat meowing. Okay, I made that up. Feel free to make your own conclusion if you get the chance. Apparently, Paro imitates the voice of a real baby harp seal.

Here are some more interesting information about Paro:

Paro has a diurnal rhythm of morning, daytime, and night. For example, Paro is active during the daytime, but gets sleepy at night. Paro has five kinds of sensors: tactile, light, audition, temperature, and posture sensors, with which it can perceive people and its environment. With the light sensor, Paro can recognize light and dark. He feels being stroked and beaten by tactile sensor, or being held by the posture sensor. Paro can also recognize the direction of voice and words such as its name, greetings, and praise with its audio sensor. Paro can learn to behave in a way that the user prefers, and to respond to its new name. For example, if you stroke it every time you touch it, Paro will remember your previous action and try to repeat that action to be stroked. If you hit it, Paro remembers its previous action and tries not to do that action. By interaction with people, Paro responds as if it is alive, moving its head and legs, making sounds, and showing your preferred behavior.

According to the CNN article, Paro is expected to cost between $2,500 and $3,000. That’s some expensive pet therapy. But considering how much more expensive high-breed pets like dogs or cats are here in Japan, that amount would be pretty reasonable, given the therapeutic benefits for patients. Paro robots are made by hand, and no two robots look alike!

Want to see Paro? Drop by Science Square Tsukuba. Open from 9:30 am to 5 pm, closed on Mondays and holidays. Admission is free! And get the chance to view other AIST-related scientific exhibits as well. 🙂

***All photos are original photos by the author except for the one with PM Koizumi (source: AIST website).