Hahh, what a week! I had to disengage myself from blogging activities in order to concentrate on other more pressing matters. Matters like making a presentation in a conference, writing and submitting my proposals, rewriting a paper for a journal, submitting an abstract to another conference, yada, yada, yada. March is always the busiest time of the year, which, incidentally, also coincides with the end of the fiscal year here in Japan. Anyway, I’m glad that I’ve completed most of the tasks I needed to do. I can breathe now, thank you very much! On a brighter note, the sakura (cherry blossoms) are already in full bloom, and we can enjoy viewing them this week! Yay!

Well, there is a particular topic that I want to write about in this post. Thing is, I’m turning a year older tomorrow. It’s no big deal, right? 🙂 Everyone else will turn a year older this year. But for some reason, I’m having a “When Harry Met Sally” reflective moment. Ok, sure, 40 is still several years down the road, but hey, I will turn 40…someday! To paraphrase Sally’s outburst: “Forty…it’s just there, waiting!”The big four-oh is hurling towards me, like it or not. Some people I personally know are already ranting about turning 40 – and for some reason, they end up buying themselves some expensive stuffs. Maybe to make themselves feel better? Is it really that bad? I couldn’t help but think that pretty soon, our batch in college will be writing emails with similar angst about turning 40 in our mailing list.

In a way, I can understand what the fuss is all about. When I was 10, 20 seemed ancient. Old. Scary. Unthinkable, even. When I turned 20, I realized that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Twenty was…cool. I got to be independent; I got recognized as an adult in my own right. I was happy to displace my idea of ancient to the more distant age of 40. Forty seemed like lightyears away.

Thirty came, and I realized, hey, this is almost like 20, but with more independence, more money, and less parents breathing down my neck. Emancipation!!! Earn a living, start a family, settle down in domestic bliss. Check, check, check.

When I do hit 40, how would 80 sound? Like my Mom would say, “isang bulate na lang ang hinihintay na pumirma sa kontrata.” lol

When I turn 40, would I end up looking back at how I spent half of my life (given that I would actually live until 80), and gripe about the things I have failed to do? Would I be forced to take a long, hard look at where my career has gone and feel satisfied, or would I end up beating my head for making bad decisions? Would I feel bad if I still haven’t amassed enough wealth to secure a comfortable life without having to work my ass off anymore? Would buying a new house or a new car be as tempting as it is now? Would having a fat savings account be something to be happy about when you’re forty? Would I be reflecting on how much of my life has been spent serving others and making their lives better instead of just focusing on my own comfort?

Ok, maybe that’s too much to reflect on, haha. As I said, I’ve several years more to go. Ample time to ruminate. But if there are others out there who have hit the big four-oh and would like to share the tidbits of wisdom that they’ve learned during this transition, feel free to rant, err, comment. 🙂

For now, I bid thee adieu with these words of wisdom I scooped from the internet, hehe…and remember, age is a state of the mind! 😛 Have fun.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE GETTING “MARVELOUSLY MATURE” WHEN…..

1. You and your teeth don’t sleep together.

2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any.

3. At the breakfast table you hear “snap, crackle, pop” and you’re not eating cereal.

4. Your back goes out but you stay home.

5. When you wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.

6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. (My idea of a night out is sitting on the couch and watching DVDs.)

8. When happy hour is a nap.

9. When you’re on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.. (Oh mama…this is becoming too familiar.)

10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it. (This is soo true!)

11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age. (Thank you!)

12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.

17. You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.

18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

19. Getting “lucky” means you found your car in the parking lot.

20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

21. It takes twice as long – to look half as good. (Ouch. Just plain ouch.)

22. Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt – doesn’t work.

23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

24. You sink your teeth into a steak – and they stay there.

25. You give up all your bad habits and still don’t feel good.

26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don’t care anymore.

27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don’t even remember being on top of it.

Coffeeholics Anonymous is now in session. Hi, I’m Kathy, and I’m a coffee drinker.

I can skip breakfast entirely, but never my coffee. I also drink one cup of coffee right after lunch, just to perk me up in my lowest energy state in the afternoon. I try to limit my coffee intake to two cups a day. But sometimes, when my coffeeholic sister would brew coffee at night, I would find myself drinking a third cup. But that’s just about it for me. On usual days, anyway. 🙂

Baggy and I are also frequent Starbucks customers. I’ve got a “coffee bean point card,” on which I get points for every purchase of coffee beans I make. After I collect a certain number of points, I get one pack free! 🙂 It must be the familiarity with the taste or ambiance, that even when we go abroad we find ourselves exploring the neighborhood for a good ol’ Starbucks store. You could imagine how happy I was when I was in Seattle (for those who didn’t know, the very first Starbucks was opened at Seattle in Pike’s Place Market). There seemed to be a Starbucks store in every corner, including one located right smack at our conference site.The question is, is drinking coffee good or bad for your health? According to a press release by Harvard Health:

“The latest research has not only confirmed that moderate coffee consumption doesn’t cause harm, it’s also uncovered possible benefits. Studies show that the risk for type 2 diabetes is lower among regular coffee drinkers than among those who don’t drink it. Also, coffee may reduce the risk of developing gallstones, discourage the development of colon cancer, improve cognitive function, reduce the risk of liver damage in people at high risk for liver disease, and reduce the risk of Parkinson’s disease. Coffee has also been shown to improve endurance performance in long-duration physical activities.”

Other health benefits can be found in this article. One excerpt that I found particularly amusing:

“While not technically addictive, caffeine increases the production of dopamine, a brain chemical crucial to pleasure and motivation.

The brain cells that make dopamine stop working in Parkinson’s disease, and studies using animal models suggest caffeine wards off Parkinson’s by protecting these cells.

The dopamine connection may explain why both the Kaiser Permanente study and the Nurses Health Study found that coffee drinkers were significantly less likely to commit suicide.”

Ergo, drink coffee and live longer, happy and contented lives. 😛

All of this is not to justify why I drink coffee. I’m sure that there are also health risks associated with coffee – palpitations, insomnia, tremors, diarrhea and increased urination among them. I guess the key here is moderation. Of course, the definition of “moderation” differs from person to person. But oh, scrap the moderation crap. I enjoy drinking coffee too much to think about the benefits and risks. As the sign on the coffee van at our workplace says:

There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head.
If a man doesn’t drink when he’s living,
How the hell can he drink when he’s dead?

And sheez, I just can’t quit drinking coffee (hmm, not that I really tried to quit). The only time I stayed completely off coffee was when I was pregnant with Aya. And because I’m a “moderate” drinker, it wasn’t that hard to completely cut my coffee intake – I didn’t manifest the usual coffee-withdrawal syndromes that everybody knows about. Right about the time I was weaning her, I was only too happy to drink my first real cup chock-full o’ caffeine.

And besides, what single drink can be prepared and enjoyed in various forms? Coffee, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

I got a snowman on my cappucino. Look, he’s grinning at me.

This is the cappucino that makes you go, “Awww….” before you glug it up.

Whipped cream and chocolate syrup on coconut-flavored cafe latte. This is the coffee that makes you just want to stare at it. Drool! And when I finally couldn’t contain the urge, I was rewarded with such a heavenly taste!

And hey, this is Japan. There are dozens of coffee drinks that one can buy in vending machines. I’ve lost count of how many brands are out there already (available hot or cold!). But this one stands out from the rest:

“69” Shot & Shot by Wonda. So, is this guaranteed to keep you going and going like the Energizer rabbit?

Care to enlighten me on why they chose to name this coffee drink “69 Shot & Shot”? Why 69? I don’t know. To me, it’s just a number. :P(Yeah, right!) Anyway, what the heck, just sip it and enjoy! 🙂

Have you ever had your hair cut against your will? Because I have had my hair cut, oh-so-many times, by my own mother. I used to run away from her and lock myself in our bedroom, with her furiously running after me and demanding that I come right out and obey her.

Why couldn’t I have long hair like the other kids in our class? Why do I have to have my hair cut above the shoulder? Why couldn’t I have long, shiny braids like the girls? I thought those braids looked so cool. But my mom would have none of it. She always got her way, of course. 🙁 But I vowed, once I had children of my own, to NEVER cut their hair UNLESS they want it. They should be free to do whatever they want with their hair. I wouldn’t insist on having their hair cut the way I want it.

This was how I looked like, most of the time, with my hair cut short:

Gyah! Bleech, B&W photo. This is soo 70s.

I think I was about 2 or so at that time. See the shocked look on my face?!! Uh, no, that’s not because of the haircut. It was because my mom had to leave me alone temporarily to be photographed. 🙂

And every time my hair grew long, my mom would put her grim scissors to work. Snippity, snippity, snip!

Mom did her best, but she’s not a pro, see, and so there were many times when her cut would be longer on one side, shorter on the other. She usually resorted to cutting the longer side to even up the length – much to my disgust. It was I who had to face my classmates the following day in school, puhleeze. Di pa uso yung shaggy non, so I always ended up looking like I had a “bunot” (coconut husk, for the uninitiated) on my head. I hated it, I hated it, I hated it!

Did I forget to mention that I hated it?

That, and having my milk teeth pulled by my Dad using a sewing thread (use your imagination on how it was done). I would run away from him as fast as I could, but drats, he always managed to overtake me. But that’s another story.

Fast forward twenty years after. Oh okay, I’ll be honest, thirty years after. 😛 I have my own daughter now. She’s the most adorable thing on earth. I told my Mom to stay away from her hair. I let Aya’s hair grow, never cutting it except for the bangs, and a little trim on the edges to keep the split ends away.

By the time Aya was about 2 years old (same age as when my photo was taken above), I could make a nice braid out of her wispy thin, baby hair. Aya loved having her hair fixed.

I got braids! Hee hee hee!

She also loves having her hair hang freely.

I also like my hair this way, hee hee hee!

Sure, it could get pretty messy at times, especially after a night of tumbling and tossing in bed. She’s like this mini-bruha every morning, greeting me with eyes hiding behind a glorious mess of hair. I did my best in fixing her up.

One day, out of the blue, she told me, “Gusto ko magpagupit na.” (I want to have my hair cut.) Whaaattt? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I mean, she’s only four years old, right? And she wants a haircut already? I asked her again. She was pretty sure that she wanted a haircut. And she seemed pretty serious, too.

Well, okay. I agreed. I gave her a few more weeks to think about it. Then I asked her again. She gave the same answer, so I thought that it was really time to pay the beauty parlor a visit. I wouldn’t dare cut her hair myself. Huh-uh, no way Jose. Let a professional do it instead. I don’t want to make a mess of my daughter’s first official hair cut.

This was how long Aya’s hair was before we had it cut.

Off we went to the beauty parlor at the shopping center. They placed a comfy child’s seat on the chair, then propped a tv playing Tom and Jerry in front of Aya. The plastic cover used to wrap Aya with even had cartoon characters. Not bad for presentation. Needless to say, Aya was all smiles. She couldn’t quite contain her excitement and happiness.

Several minutes later, Aya’s hair was just barely touching her shoulders, but her eyes were bright and happy at the way she looked. The next day, at the daycare, the senseis and her classmates oohed and aahed when they saw her. Everybody said she looked “kawaii” (this means cute in Japanese). See, that’s how drastically her appearance changed. And it seemed that everyone else in the daycare knew that Aya’s hair was never cut short, and so maybe they seemed really surprised to find her with short hair – for the first time in years!

One night, as I was tucking her to sleep, out of the blue she asked me:

“Hahaba ulit ang hair ko?” (Will my hair grow long again?)
“Yes, of course,” I replied.
“Kelan, bukas?” (When, tomorrow?)
“Hindi eh. Matagal bago humaba ang hair.” (No. It takes a while for the hair to grow.)

And my dear little one started to cry softly. She wants her hair to grow back so soon. 🙂 I cuddled her, and softly whispered:

“In time, my dear, in time.”

New hair, new look?!! Yeah, blame it on the pig.

Have you ever felt attraction to someone who seems so wrong for you, someone who’s exactly your opposite, or someone who just wouldn’t fit into your accepted scheme of things?

I recently saw this video at YouTube, and inspite of the bizarre MTV, I find it rather erotic and funny at the same time. I’m not a fan of either Adrien Brody or Tori Amos, but I think they’ve got such a good chemistry onscreen. I couldn’t resist watching it over and over again. :)Make sure you watch until the end, you wouldn’t want to miss the climax! It gives a sort of literal interpretation to the phrase, “You complete me.” Haha! Enjoy!

Tori Amos – A Sorta Fairytale Lyrics

on my way up north
up on the Ventura
I pulled back the hood
and I was talking to you
and I knew then it would be
a Life Long thing
but I didn’t know that we
We could break a silver lining
And I’m so sad
like a good book
I can’t put this
Day Back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you
things you said that day
up on the 101
the girl had come undone
I tried to downplay it
with a bet about us
You said that-
You’d take it
as long as I could
I could not erase it
And I’m so sad
like a good book
I can’t put this
Day Back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you
and I ride along side
and I rode along side
You then
and I rode along side
till you lost me there
in the open road
And I rode along side
till the honey spread
itself so thin
for me to break your bread
for me to take your word
I had to steal it
And I’m so sad
like a good book
I can’t put this
Day Back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you
I could pick back up
whenever I feel

down New Mexico way
something about
the open road
I knew that he was
looking for some Indian Blood and
find a little in you find a little
in me we may be
on this road but
We’re just
Imposters
in this country you know
So we go along and we said
we’d fake it
feel better with
Oliver Stone
till I
almost smacked him –
seemed right that night and
I don’t know what
takes hold
out there in the
Desert cold
These guys think they must
Try and just get over on us

And I’m so sad
like a good book
I can’t put this
Day Back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you
and I was ridin’ by
ridin’ along side
for a while till you lost me
and I was ridin’ by
ridin’ along till you lost me
till you lost
me in
The Rear
View
you lost me
I said
way up North I took my day
all in all was a pretty nice
day and I put the Hood
right back where
You could taste heaven
perfectly
Feel out the summer breeze
didn’t know when we’d be back
And I I don’t
didn’t think
We’d end up like
like this

Dear Daddy,
Alam mo kagabi napanaginipan kita. Wala ka raw sakit. At kung sa anong dahilan, ang saya-saya mo raw. Nagluto ka pa nga. Hindi ko lang maalala kung saang bahay ba tayo nandon, pero parang bahay ata natin. Bahay natin. Yung bahay na matagal nating inaasam-asam. Hindi bahay ng ibang tao. Yung sa atin talaga. Yung kusina raw natin ay bagong gawa pa nga, at ang linis-linis pa ng mga tiles. Pero parang hindi ka raw masaya don sa tiles, kaya sinimentohan mo pa raw ng panibago. Pagkatapos mong gawin yun, mukhang hindi ka pa raw napagod. Inakap mo raw ako tapos inikot-ikot – parang twirl ba, yung ginagawa natin sa mga bata. Nagulat ako kasi ang lakas-lakas mo raw, eh kahit na mas mabigat ako at mas malaki kesa sa ‘yo kaya mo raw gawin yun.

Nagulat na lang ako bigla nong mag-alarm na. Sobrang bitin ako. Ang dami ko pa naman sanang gustong sabihin sa yo. Kaya naisip ko na dito na lang isulat.Ang tagal na nating di nakapag-usap. Lagi kang nasa isip ko, alam mo. Lagi kong naaalala yung mga nakaraan. Yung mga beses na nakahiga lang tayo sa ating kama, nakatingin sa kisame, nangangarap ng araw na magbabago ang ating buhay. Paulit-ulit mong sinasabi sa akin, “Anak, ipakita natin sa kanila na hindi hadlang yung kahirapan natin para tayo ay maging matagumpay sa buhay!” Hindi ko pa talaga naintindihan gaano kung ano ang ibig sabihin mo nong sinabi mo sa akin na ako ang “pag-asa ng bayan.” Ang alam ko lang, mahirap tayo. Ano nga naman kasi ang tawag mo sa parating umuutang sa tindahan? Nahihiya na nga ako sa tuwing lumalabas at dala yung mala-kilometrong listahan natin ng mga utang. Pero kailangan eh. Kahit na isang Maggi instant noodle lang, para lang may pang-ulam. Swerte nga tayo non at may nagpapautang pa sa atin. Paminsan-minsan din ay nauulanan ng biyaya mula sa mga kamag-anak na malalambot ang puso.

Naalala ko rin yung mga pagpupuyat mo para magawa yung mga art at science assignments ko. Parang lahat ay gagawin mo para lamang hindi ako pumalya sa eskuwela. Sabi mo kasi non, don lang natin maipapakita ang ating galing. Yun lang ang tanging kayamanang maipapamana mo sa amin. Kung hindi pa natin pagbubutihan ang ating pag-aaral, lalo tayong walang mapapala. Sinunod ko yung sabi mo, talagang ginalingan ko sa pag-aaral. Pero tanong ko lang, bakit sa tuwing umaakyat ako ng entablado ay hindi ka sumasama? Lagi ka na lang nasa bahay. Hinihintay mo na lang ang pag-uwi namin ni Mommy at sabik na sabik na titingnan yung dala kong medalya. Ah, ilang beses mo na nga bang sinabi. Ayaw mo kasi akong pagtawanan at tuksuhin kasi sasabihin ng mga kaklase ko na “kuba” ang tatay ko. Ayaw mo non. Pero alam mo, kahit na nalaman din nila nong bandang huli, hindi nila ako tinukso. Ako kasi ang pinakamalaki noon sa klase namin, takot lang nila, hahaha. Pero siguro, nirespeto rin nila ako, at kung anumang kapansanan meron ka, siguro hindi na nila inisip yun. At saka, alam mo ba na bilib na bilib sila sa yo dahil sa ang gaganda ng mga art projects ko? Lagi ko pinagmamalaki, gawa yan ng tatay ko…

Sabi ng ibang tao non, “You can’t afford to send your children to school.” Sobrang naghimagsik ka non. Siguro nasaktan ang pride mo. Ikaw rin kasi mismo hindi nakapagtapos ng kolehiyo. Wala ka ring trabaho, titser naman sa pampublikong mababang paaralan ang misis mo. Kapiranggot lang ang sweldo, puros bawas pa ng mga kautangan. Nakapagtataka nga namang mapaaral ang isang anak sa kolehiyo. Pinagdasal mo nang pinagdasal na sana ay makapasok ako sa unibersidad para sa mga mahihirap (daw). Mabuti na rin lang at nakapasa sa exam. Nakakuha rin ng scholarship. Nabuhayan ka ulit ng loob.

Alam ko na gusto mo sana akong maging isang artist, o ano kaya writer, tulad mo. Sigurado ako, kung naging lalaki ako, ay ginawa mo rin akong boksingero. 🙂 Mabuti na lang hindi. Pero nong sinabi ko sa yo na Physics ang gusto kong kunin, ni hindi ka umangal. Kahit ba hindi mo naiintidihan yung pag-aaralan ko. Kahit ba na hindi ka sigurado kung may trabaho ba ako pagkatapos ng kursong ito. Hindi mo ako pinilit na kumuha ng kursong madaling pagkakakitaan. Nong natapos na ako sa kolehiyo, at nagsimula ng magturo, inakala ko na bubuti na ang buhay natin. Hindi pa pala. Kakarampot ang sweldo ko noon. Di ko alam kung ano na ang kasunod, pero alam ko na gusto ko pang mag-aral. Ang sabi ni Mommy, magtrabaho na nga raw ako sa malaking kumpanya para naman makatulong na. Pero hindi ka rin pumayag. Sabi mo non sa akin, sige anak, kung gusto mo pa kumuha ng Master’s o PhD masaya ako riyan. Ipagyayabang mo sa buong bayan ng Antique na may anak kang doctor. Nakakatawa, kasi pati yun naisip mo.

Alam ko matagal mong pinangarap na magkaroon tayo ng sariling bahay. Yun siguro ang tanda na talagang nakaahon na tayo sa buhay. Lumaon ang panahon at natupad din ang iyong pangarap. Nakapagpatayo rin tayo ng bahay! Hindi ako kumita ng limpak-limpak na salapi. Inipon ko yung pera mula sa aking scholarship at inunti-unti ang paghuhulog sa lupa at bahay natin. Nong ako’y nagkaroon na ng totoong trabaho, ayan dumaloy na ang biyaya at natapos din natin ang bahay. Nag-uumapaw ang ating kasiyahan. Hindi naman mansyon ang pinatayo nating bahay, pero atin yun. Walang ibang makakakuha sa atin non.

Pero sayang, tatlong taon mo lang natirhan yung bahay na yun. Iniwan mo naman kami agad. Ang dami ko pa naman sanang gustong iparanas sa yo. Tuwang-tuwa ako nong makarating ka sa Japan, at kahit na tatlong buwan ka lang dito non, at kahit na dalawang beses pa tayong na-ER dahil sa yong biglang pagkakasakit, sobra talaga ang kaligayahan ko. Ang pakiramdam ko, nakabawi man lang ako kahit konti sa mga paghihirap mo noon sa amin. Alam ko hindi ko talaga maibabalik lahat ng pinundar mo sa akin – lahat ng pagpapakasakit, pagtitiyaga, at saka sakripisyo. Gusto ko lang maibalik kung ano ang makakayanan ko.

Ni hindi mo man lang ako hinintay na dumating bago ka lumisan. Huling nagkita tayo, ang saya-saya nating buong pamilya dahil kasal nong kapatid ko. Pero nong sunod na tayo’y magkita, tahimik ka nang nakahiga sa loob ng kabaong. Matagal kong pinagmasdan yung mga kamay mo – yung mga kamay na palagi kong nakikitang nagtatype sa typewriter na binili ko, mga kamay na palaging nagpipintura sa canvas, mga kamay na parating naghihimas sa aking noo pag ako ay may sakit o dili kaya’y nalulungkot, mga kamay na nakatiklop sa aking tabi at nagdadasal tuwing kaarawan ko. Sobrang kulubot na ang iyong mga kamay…pero hindi nauwi sa walang kabuluhan ang mga pinaghirapan ng kamay mo. Ang tagumpay ko ay tagumpay mo rin. Ang narating ko ay narating mo rin.

Sabi nila mas magaan daw sa paglipas ng panahon. Siguro totoo, kasi minsan pakiramdam ko parang tanggap ko na wala ka na. Pero kung minsan, may mga pagkakataon, tulad nga nitong napanaginipan kita, at hindi ko mapigilang tumulo ang aking mga luha. Sobrang naninikip ang aking dibdib tuwing naiisip ko yung mga paghihirap natin non, ang mga paghihirap mo, na sana man lang ay naibsan kahit papano nitong naging maginhawa na ang ating buhay.

At sa tuwing may pagsubok akong hinaharap sa buhay, naiisip kita. Sa iyo at sa Diyos kasi ako kumukuha ng lakas. Pag naiisip kita, naiisip ko kung gaano kahirap yung mga pinagdaanan natin sa buhay – at kung kaya natin yun, kaya rin natin tong mga pagsubok na darating.

Ika mo nga parati noon: “Show ’em what you’re made of, girl!” Syempre gagawin ko yun, basta sabi mo Daddy. ***

Many thanks to everyone who posted their answers to the questions in my previous post. Whew, I almost thought nobody would get the correct answers! Fortunately, Hazel was very persistent (aside from being the first one to post her comment, hehe)! 🙂

Here is the full view of the photo:

1. That was Baggy’s foot. Those hideous-looking toes could never be mine.
2. It was his right foot.
3. He was sitting cross-legged.

‘Till next time! Hope you guys had fun.

Ever since Aya discovered how to operate the digital camera, she has taken quite a liking to taking pictures of anything and everything. I’m so grateful that film cameras are a thing of the past (no offense to those who still own and use one!), because I don’t have to worry about her using up all the film and wasting a lot of shots. Aren’t you just grateful how digital cameras revolutionized the way we take photos nowadays? Even children can practice their skills on a digicam.

No, I took this photo, hehe. I just thought I’d include Aya’s photo here because she looks so cute in it. 😉

In one of our latest family outings, I discovered how handy this little photographer could be, particularly when it was just the two of us gallivanting around. I could just give her the camera and ask her to take my solo picture. Here’s an example:

Aya was sitting on the stroller when she took this photo.

Not bad for a four year old, eh? No more need to ask for strangers to take pictures of us.

Aya also likes taking pictures at home, like those of her stuffed toys, her scrawlings on paper, even us, whom she obliges to pose for the camera. One time she wrote the word “LOVE” on several pieces of paper, taped them to various places in the house like the garbage can, door, bookshelf, etc….and then, she took pictures of each of them! But what she really loves is taking pictures of…her feet. Don’t ask me why. She also takes pictures of our feet, sometimes while we are not looking or doing something else. She takes fascination after her chubby feet, or toes, probably in pretty much the same way as Tita Toe does. 🙂 Here are some of them:

Up in the air, you two!

Same set of feet, different time. Oops, a little blurry there.

Playing with light and shadows…and foot.

Now here’s a classic shot:

Just peeking out.

Believe me, we all had a good laugh out of that picture! 😀

Indulge me a few questions:
1. Whose foot was that? (You have to choose among myself, Baggy, and Aya.)
2. Which side was it, left or right?
3. Guess how the foot was made to look that way.

The first one who gets all the correct answers will get a prize! Yep, wherever in the world you may be. I’ll mail it to ya. Have fun! 😉

*13 March 2007 Update: So far, nobody has given the correct answers to all three. Most of you gave 1 or 2 correct answers (uh, duh…hehe). Anyway, I’m extending this until Friday, March 16. If no one gets all the correct answers, I’ll just choose the person who gave the closest or funniest answers, lol. Oh yeah, if you want to try other answers or combinations, feel free to do so. ‘la naman daw limit, according to Tita V. :)*

When…

• you’re feeling blue and depressed at your job
• you feel like your friends got better jobs (heck, you want THEIR job!)
• you think that you are absolutely not where you are supposed to be
  …and most of all

• you think that quitting your job seems like the best idea in the world

…then my friend, you should think of me.

D’oh?!! Where’s my freakin’ hand?

Why? Because I’m an experimentalist. I don’t have much choice – if I don’t do my experiments, then I won’t have any data. If I don’t have any data, then I won’t have any proof of my work. If I don’t have proof of my work…uh, do you really want me to go on? 😛 Anyway, how does it feel to be me? Well, here’s a glimpse into my everyday life at work:
Everyday, I face the following potential hazards in my work place:

• Excimer laser – this the high-power laser I use for my experiments. It is classified as a Class IV laser, which, in simple terms, means that it is classified as the most hazardous laser one can handle. It emits UV radiation and can potentially damage the cornea of the eye with direct or scattered radiation. And, unlike what they make you believe in the movies, you can’t see the laser rays unless there is a scattering medium like dust or smoke. Protective eyewear must be worn at all times whenever operating the laser. Unless you want your eyeballs to be zapped or something.
• Fluorine gas (F2) – one of the gas components needed for the excimer laser. I use this to fill up the excimer laser, once, sometimes twice a week. Want to know how dangerous it is?

  “Fluorine gas is corrosive to exposed tissues and to the upper and lower respiratory tracts. Fluorine penetrates deeply into body tissues and will continue to exert toxic effects unless neutralized. Workers should have 2.5% calcium gluconate gel on hand before work with fluorine begins.”
  More information here.
  I want to keep all my tissues intact, thank you very much.

• X-rays – I’m sure you’re familiar with x-rays! And there’s a good reason why someone should not have their chests x-rayed for more than once a year! Uh, remember what happened to Madam Curie? Anyway, I use this on a regular basis to evaluate the films that I’ve grown. How dangerous are they?

  “Living organisms which are exposed to various doses of ionizing radiation, can be injured by such exposures and death may result from severe exposures. It is imperative that all operators of X-ray instruments be knowledgeable in their use in order to protect themselves from injury.” More about x-ray hazards here

• Liquid nitrogen – this is liquefied nitrogen. The air we breathe is composed of about 70% nitrogen gas. Liquefy it, and you’ve got an extremely volatile liquid with temperature of about 77 K – this is 196 degrees Celsius BELOW zero! If you don’t have an idea of what this does, then perhaps you have watched Terminator 2? Remember the scene where T-1000 got frozen stiff from a cold blast from Ahnuld Schwarzenegger? What exactly happens when you get in contact with liquid nitrogen?

  “Frostbite Hazard
  If a sufficient quantity of liquid nitrogen comes in contact with the body, a “cold burn” results. Small amounts will rapidly evaporate and will only provide a small sensation similar to a pin prick. The danger comes from larger quantities which do not evaporate quickly. Should a larger quantity come in contact with a person, the person should immediately take action to get away.”

  Asphyxiation
  Liquid nitrogen rapidly evaporates giving nitrogen gas. Just one liter of liquid produces around 700 liters of gas at atmospheric pressure, displacing significant quantities of breathable air if the gas is released in a confined space such as a laboratory, cold room, or storage area. The problem is compounded by nitrogen’s tendency to accumulate at low levels where it is less easily dispersed than the ambient atmosphere. Even an apparently small spillage could lead to dangerously low oxygen levels, presenting a serious hazard to personnel working in the area.”
  Read more here.

  Hasta la vista, baby. Luckily for T-1000, he was built to withstand freezing temperatures and can rebuild himself after thawing (lol).

And if those are not enough, then there’s always the danger of getting electrical shock from high-voltage areas of various lab equipment, burns from furnaces operated at 1000 degrees Celsius or more, or acid burns from concentrated solutions of nitric acid.

Anyway, now you have a rough idea of my typical workday. Baggy, for his work, only has to sit in front of the PC all day long, write his computer programs in the sweet comfort of his office, take a coffee break every now and then…at times put up his feet on his desk whenever he feels like it…ugh…I should stop! Some people are soo fortunate to be doing jobs which do not require them to deal with any hazardous components or materials. But then again, I’m not as smart as he is; if I were, I’d probably have ended up as a theorist myself. I’m just a lowly brute confined to the benchwork. 😛

Now it’s YOUR turn to tell me about your type of work. Is it something you can or can’t do without? 🙂

A not-so-late disclaimer: I may have exaggerated a bit, for dramatic effect of course, in some of the things I’ve written above, it might give you the impression that I’m walking into a minefield everytime I work. It is not so! For the record, I am a very, very careful experimentalist, I take pains in reviewing every detail of my operation, and lastly, we are all required to follow safety guidelines in order to prevent accidents from happening. This is because the potential hazards described are very real and should not be taken lightly.

There is nothing like going out to watch a movie – for two or three hours one can forget about life’s annoyances, troubles, aches, anything. Within this brief period one can get immersed in the lives of other people, experience their happiness and sorrow, love and hate, triumph and tragedy. In the Philippines, it is probably the cheapest, most available form of entertainment, next to gossiping with one’s next door neighbor (lol) – plus, there is even no limit on how long you can stay inside the freezer, err, theater (that is, if you can handle the freezing temperatures inside). That was one of the reasons why Baggy and I would often go out on Friday nights every week, back when we were still both teaching at UP Diliman. SM City was just a jeepney ride away.

Our first date, in case you’re interested, was actually spent watching a movie at Shangri La Cinema. The movie was Wuthering Heights, starring Juliette Binoche (a vision of beauty) and a pre-Voldemort, dashing and handsome Ralph Fiennes. And take note, I still remember the next movie we saw together – it was Mrs. Doubtfire. What made that moviegoing experience more memorable was that right after we got out of the cinema, some friends of mine saw us. At that time, we were not an item yet, so I was a bit embarrassed to be seen going out with a co-faculty member. 😛

Even here in Japan, where a movie ticket costs a whopping Y1,800, or roughly P700, Baggy and I wouldn’t mind shelling money just to watch movies. However, unlike in the Philippines where we watched movies indiscriminately, here we are forced to choose which ones to watch. Or, if we feel like scrimping on the budget, sometimes we just wait for the 1st day of the month, and take advantage of their discounted offer of only Y1000 or P400.

When I was pregnant with Aya, Baggy and I would frequently go to the cinemas for LFS. We knew then that once the baby was born, we wouldn’t have any opportunity to spend late nights at the movies. So right up to my ninth month, huge belly and all, I endured sitting for 2 hours or more inside the moviehouse, not minding the cramps afterwards! On the eve of Aya’s birth, Baggy and I watched an LFS of The Scorpion King at Cineplex here in Tsukuba. It was probably the excitement of seeing The Rock, or the exhaustion of having to sit for a couple of hours, that I wasn’t able to sleep the whole night, not knowing that I would go on labor in just a few hours!

As soon as Aya was old enough, and much to the disapproval of her sensei at the daycare, we took her to the movies with us. Her first movie was the animated feature, Nemo. Of course, for about half of the movie I had to stand and rock Aya in my arms to make her still. We took her several times afterwards, even once during an LFS. It was a one-time thing, you know. That is because the next time we took her to another LFS, they made us go out of the theater because minors were not allowed to watch after 9 pm. Shocking! Kainis! Wala naman ganyan sa Pinas ah. Yes, even with accompanying guardians. And yes, even if I argued (in vain) that she would be sleeping anyway, so what was the big deal about it? They refunded our money and profusely apologized, but we felt like we were cheated somewhat. Apparently, the first time was a fluke – they just didn’t notice us then. That was (almost) the end of our LFS nights.

As far as I can remember, there was only one other time when Baggy and I were able to go out on a LFS together – that was the time when my Mom was here with us. I asked her to look after Aya, who was sleeping anyway, while we snuck out for a movie time together.

Until last week, that is. Fortunately, my usually evil sister Lai wasn’t feeling her usual evil self, so I mustered the courage to ask her and look after Aya for the night. And so with much excitement and delight like kids out on a field day, we finally snuck out to watch our first LFS in what seemed like ages. It so happened that The Departed was still in showing. Hey, it won an Oscar award for Best Picture – it must be worth seeing!

More than the movie, of course, was the chance to go out with Baggy and have a little quality time together at the movies again. Just the two of us, eating nachos and sipping coke, eyes fixated on the wide screen. And no, we don’t hold hands anymore like we used to (corny ba?). We sat there and forgot about the world outside, even our daughter Aya, if only for a moment, enjoyed the story unfolding before our eyes, and most of all, simply enjoyed our precious company together.

Despite the gore and violence, The Departed was a real treat. At first, it doesn’t seem like an appropriate choice, given that this was our first LFS in ages. A romantic movie would have been the more appropriate choice, wouldn’t it? But clearly, this is a case where the following applies: “It matters not what movie you watch; it’s whom you watch with that matters.” That’s how I view it anyway.

How about you? Watched any movie with a special someone lately? 🙂

There was a time when I thought I could be an artist. And indeed, for a while, I thought that that dream was lost, until I found my inspiration again. So I started tinkering with the AFM (atomic force microscopy)-acquired images of the films I have deposited, and found that indeed, nanostructures can be wonderful materials to work with. Just use your imagination!

The opportunity to showcase my “work of art” finally came. I saw an announcement for a “Modern NANO-Art Gallery,” hosted by the ODNN07 (One-dimensional Nanostructures and Nanoarchitectonics) here in Tsukuba. I thought, why not? So I submitted my image. A few weeks later, I was informed that my image was among the chosen top 20 entries for the gallery. I was elated, of course. I also knew that there was an award to be given for the best image, as judged by the selection committee. At any rate, I was happy enough knowing that my entry was to be included in the gallery. And more importantly, I had fun experimenting with that image! I didn’t really mind so much about the award.

But then came another email – informing me that my image was selected as the best image! Surprise, surprise, surprise! 😀

So without further ado, here’s the winning entry, which I titled “Golden whorls on a blue pond”:

The image shown above was obtained by AFM on a YBaCuO (YBCO) superconducting thin film on CeO₂-buffered sapphire. Colors were enhanced by Adobe Photoshop. 🙂

When you look at it, does it evoke any particular feelings? When I look at that image, the scene that comes to mind is that of pretty yellow flowers happily floating on a pond, beckoning anyone to come and pluck them. And so my artistic description of this image goes like this:

“I have fallen in love with thee
Thy golden whorls have captured me
Waiting to be plucked by fools like me
And held in our hands so daintily”

This image is currently being exhibited at the gallery. This gallery will only be until tomorrow. Here’s a snapshot of the panel displays:

Anyway, this evening I was invited to attend a banquet and receive this award:

A piece of paper? Nah, it’s much more than that! It’s a testament that my first venture into “science as art” has not been in vain. Not bad for a first try, eh?

This is for you, DAD!