I was surprised to find out that the photo of the women’s networking lunch I participated in last ASC has been posted at the website of the Cryogenic Society of America. You may find the link here. The photo was taken using my camera, that’s why my name is included there. You’ll have to scroll down to the middle of the page to find it. Be patient. It’s really there. I’m the second one from the left. 🙂

Out of the 1,000 plus participants in the conference, only a handful of women participated in the networking lunch. This reflects the disproportionate number of women who work in this field compared to men. Nevertheless, I felt honored to be one of them. We came from different countries: US, Australia, Finland, Taiwan, etc. We were asked to introduce ourselves to the group. When I introduced myself, I began by saying, “Hi, my name is Katherine, and I come from the Philippines…” Feeling nasa beauty pageant. I had to repress the urge to do a “I can feel it!” flip of my hair ala Alice Dixson (gosh, who still remembers that shampoo commercial?!!).

Of course, I represent Japan because that’s where I live and work, but inevitably, I also represent my country of origin because first and foremost, I am a Filipino. Can’t you tell from the name? 🙂

This brings to mind one of the essays I wrote for Philippines Today , right after I got married and before Aya came into our lives (and wreaked havoc, har har har). Notice the feisty tone in my esay. Sino ba kalaban ko rito? I was so piqued at some article I read at PDI (Philippine Daily Inquirer), I just had to write my own thoughts on the matter. What I didn’t know then, was that if you add children to the equation, everything really becomes chaotic. Balancing a career with family is never an easy task, and never one that must be taken lightly.

Of Women and Their Roles
published July 2001

A husband proudly announced to his wife: “Honey, you don’t have to be just a mother and housewife. I’m 100% behind you picking up a career.” “Really?!!” the wife replied, eyes awestruck and already dreaming. “Yes, sweetheart. I’m making you my banker. I will deposit money on you, and make withdrawal transactions whenever necessary. You’ll be my accountant, auditor, treasurer, secretary, even fashion designer! And of course, you will pick the clothes I will wear!” My, the choices we women are faced with! Some twenty years ago we can at least imagine the same woman rolling her eyes and looking at her husband incredulously. Some fifty years ago a woman in the same situation would probably just resign herself to her so-called fate: the triple “M” horror combination: manganak, magluto, at magdasal. And need I add, “magpakamartir“!

Everybody agrees that being an outstanding mother and wife is a great achievement. We cannot praise them enough, the pillars of our society and home. But let’s not overly focus on these roles as if they were the sole reasons for the existence of women on this planet. The issue is not whether one dodges the roles of being a mother and a wife; these roles are inevitable (unless physiologically incapable, of course) once a woman decides to enter marriage life. The question is what else they could be, inspite of being mothers and wives.

The other day I was much chagrined after reading an article in an online newspaper. In it the author claimed to be an alternative feminist, being someone who follows the “natural laws” and the “supernatural laws” ordained for women. It has definitely struck a note in me, as I have recently gotten married and am now at the brink of making decisions about motherhood and family upbringing. I have chosen to devote my life to the sciences and made it a point to get my graduate degree before marrying; I have planned my life ahead in preparation for the various roles I would have to fulfill when I do get married. I have also jumpstarted my career by finding employment at a respectable institute, even now that I have gotten married. It is perhaps a major factor that the man I married is also as fervently driven into his career as I am, but he doesn’t think that I am in any way inferior. Instead he considers me as an equal, a colleague. Certainly, matters would have been different had he insisted that we get married in a hurry, have babies, and raise a family while at the point of pursuing our studies. I could very well just kiss my career goodbye.

It is in our biological design, as females, to carry the task of childbearing-there is absolutely nothing we can do to change that. But society has defined the roles for us as well: the tasks of caring for the child and family became the woman’s responsibility, on the other hand her husband fulfilled the breadwinner role in the family. Somehow it created a sort of harmony, a clear-cut definition of roles. It was as thus practiced in society, for a considerable length of time probably since the Stone Ages, that it has almost become perfectly acceptable to think that these roles are but natural and gender-defined. Almost. But as many modern families have already exhibited, these roles may actually be reversed. We now see women wearing the pants in the family, thriving in their professional careers while men took on non-traditional tasks like sharing the responsibility for the housekeeping and child-rearing, even taking on jobs that do not require them to leave home. Women do not have to carry the traditional roles any more than men do; modern women (although not all of them) have now realized that there are options to choose from. Giving up an ambition in order to raise a family is a noble sacrifice-but why does it have to be the woman’s choice? What “natural” law has ordained us to be homemakers but not lawmakers? We don’t have to satisfy ourselves with an office job, working as clerks for male bosses when we are equally capable of performing administrative tasks. We don’t have to relegate ourselves to merely supporting partners behind successful men when we could also discover paths to our own fulfillment and achievement. There are choices available to the women of today, but clearly, the struggle is far from over.

It is precisely the kind of thinking as propagated in our culture that severely cramps women to go forward and take charge of their lives. A woman is not hired for work because she is considered a waste of investment: she’ll get married soon and won’t be as productive because of household responsibilities. A woman is highly successful in her chosen career, and society thinks of her as selfish and probably a bad mother. A woman decides to take up non-traditional roles in society, and she is labeled sinful. Pray, tell, how should men who have taken up domestic roles be considered? Should we also call them unnatural and instruments of evil because they are preventing women from fulfilling their duties in accordance to a so-called natural law (whatever it is)? As it is, even men also suffer their own plight when it comes to domestic affairs. They are labeled as “ander de saya,” “ander ni kumander” and such derisive remarks.

Oppression is when a woman has not been made to realize her full potential as an individual. A loving wife and mother, yes. But that should not be the end of it. Instead, it should be the starting point for other roles and responsibilities, in the same way that her husband can excel in his endeavors because he has the support of his wife and family. Oppressive thinking is when you tell yourself that you should be content on just being a wife and mother of your children, fulfilling domestic roles because you’ll be awarded for your efforts in some remuneration out of this world instead of being encouraged to seek roles outside the home because you have skills and talents worthy of harnessing. Tell me why women have to be told about what they should wear, how they should act, how to serve their husbands, and how to behave according to some acceptable norm in society. Oppression is when your growth as an individual is stunted. Tell me what could be more unnatural when a woman with highly skilled mathematical abilities would be consigned to do menial tasks at home, her potentials untapped because she’s only a woman and must fulfill her duties at home.

I have devoted most of my life to harnessing my talent in my chosen field-unfortunately, a field dominated by men. There are virtually no role models I can identify with. And it’s not easy being the minority. More often than not, I wonder why I am even the minority, not them. But if we ever hope to change the situation, we must redefine our roles and ourselves. Let us start from the roots-let us encourage small girls to achieve and learn how to overcome the challenges. I have learned to expect that I would be identified with various roles, “mothering” and “wifing” among them. All of these roles will define me as an individual. I anticipate that the roads ahead as I balance my career and personal life will not all be rosy, and surely I will have to make priorities in order to apportion my time and effort. But hey, I won’t make myself a martyr about it. At least I’m living my life in full awareness of the infinite possibilities before me. I’m taking things as they come, grateful for every bit of experience, duty, responsibility, and loving the challenge as I always have. C’est la vie!*

Continuing from part one, here are items five to ten in my list:

6. Drink green tea. Lots of it.

Cheers to good health!

The Japanese, apart from the Chinese, are among the top consumers of green tea. For them, drinking green tea is akin to drinking water for Filipinos. Tea has long been considered to be beneficial to health, including benefits such as prevention of atherosclerosis, diabetes, etc., possible prevention of cancer due to its antioxidant component, called catechin. According to an article posted at BBC news:
These polyphenol antioxidants are found in many foods and plants, including tea leaves, and have been shown to help prevent cell damage.

Dr Ruxton said: “Drinking tea is actually better for you than drinking water. Water is essentially replacing fluid. Tea replaces fluids and contains antioxidants so it’s got two things going for it.”

And ladies, you may be interested to know that green tea has also been suggested as an aid for weight loss. I don’t know if there is any concrete evidence for this, but if the skinny Japanese ladies I see everyday are any proof, then by all means, I’m a green tea convert! 🙂

What is the most popular drink in the Philippines besides water? Coke, of course. Try forcing a Pinoy to eat pancit without Coke or any softdrink. You’ll get war. Tsk, tsk.

We all know and acknowledge that softdrinks are nothing but carbonated water and lots of sugar, but we Pinoys keep drinking it like it’s water. I know, bad habits die hard. I’m a Coke drinker myself. But we can always adopt new ones. Like drinking green tea. 🙂

‘Nuff said about that. Let’s move on to…

7. Clean as you go.
I’ve never been in a cleaner country than Japan. I’ve been to the States and parts of Europe, but Japanese cleanliness is the best I’ve ever seen. One of my relatives who has also lived abroad and who visited us here in Japan was equally impressed on how squeaky clean everything was. The reason for this is not because Japan has more janitors, it is because cleanliness is engrained in their habits.

Japanese people love to throw parties like hanami at the park. Amazingly, even after the wildest parties, no litters can be found afterwards. They have been disciplined, from an early age, to clean up after their mess. I personally have seen people picking up litters of trash they randomly find on the streets, even if it wasn’t theirs!

If every Filipino takes responsibility in cleaning up after his or her own mess, I don’t think places like Manila will ever have to worry about keeping the city clean. Small parts add to bigger parts. To create a big change in our society, we need to start with ourselves.

8. Be considerate of others.
Consideration for others is deeply engrained in Japanese society. When I say “consideration,” I do not mean concern, or sympathy. It refers to that manner of behavior followed so as not to cause any troubles for other persons.

Take our washing machine, for example (Ok, bear with me on this one; it doesn’t seem related at first, but you’ll see in a minute.). It has various washing settings, all seven of them. Among these is a quaint setting called “Naito,” which means “night.” This is the setting recommended when one is washing clothes at night. It operates at a lower decibel level so as to minimize the noise from the machine during nighttime use. What, you may ask, the makers even thought of that?!! I don’t know if the same setting can be found in other washing machines aside from Japan’s. But I do know that you can’t find this in washing machines in the Philippines. In my beloved country, people party on the streets all night long without caring whether they are disrupting other people’s sleep. Why would anyone bother with low-noise-operating washing machines? Such a thing is unheard of. When I was in Tondo, I had to bear with the loud noises whenever discos were held on the street just outside our house.

In Japan, you will never hear loud music being played, not even people talking out loud. Good soundproofing could very well be the reason, but I think this is also because everyone takes pains to not disrupt the peace and quiet of the neighborhood. Incidentally, the new keyboard that we bought for Aya has headphones specifically for this purpose. One can practice all day long without worrying about the sounds ever being heard next door.

9. Take work seriously.
When I was in the university, a couple of Japanese professors came over to our lab to setup a thin film deposition system. They worked rigorously on the machine until it was in working condition. Our adviser couldn’t help but remark, “Ganyan talaga ang mga Hapon. Siniseryoso nila ang trabaho nila.” That was my very first exposure the work ethics of the Japanese.

When I finally got here, I saw for myself how seriously they worked. When they say that their work starts at 9 am, they start work at 9 am. In my workplace, I seldom see them loitering the halls and making chitchats with their friends. When the signal for lunch break is heard, they drop what they’re doing, head off to the cafeteria and eat. Then they go back to work promptly at 1 pm. The end of the working day is variable, though, because most of them tend to stay longer (or linger) hours after the end of the official working hours.

If we could adopt this kind of attitude towards work in our government offices, believe me when I tell you that we could work miracles for our country.

10. Be honest.
I have heard personal accounts of items being lost along the way, on the train, park, and train stations. The items were eventually returned to their owners intact. The people who found them were kind enough to bring them to the police box for safekeeping.

A few months after coming to Japan, Baggy once lost his wallet after getting off a bus in Toyohashi. When he realized that he lost it, he went back to the place where he thought he might have dropped it. But it wasn’t there. Believing that his wallet has been hopelessly lost, he simply returned home to his place in Osaka, anxious about what to do (like renewing the “lost” ATM, student and alien cards). However, a few days later, he received a phone call from the police, asking and confirming if he has lost a wallet. What joy! He got back his wallet, everything intact, a few days later as delivered by registered mail from a friend whom he contacted in Toyohashi.

Being a newcomer, he had erroneously thought that like in the Philippines, if you lost something, you never thought about getting it back anymore. But this is Japan! While I don’t believe that all of them are necessarily honest (sorry, this isn’t Utopia), I do believe that most of them are. And upon hearing account after account of similar incidents like Baggy’s, I became more and more convinced about this.

How honest are the Japanese? Here is an interesting article about Japanese honesty.

I believe there are more, but in this list I only included ten. Why ten? Well, for one, it’s a nice number. For another, I don’t want to make this a relatively long post. 😉

And please, don’t get the idea that Filipinos habits are all bad. Filipinos have virtues worthy of emulation by other nationalities as well. Maybe I’ll make up another list about it in the future.

In every culture, there are good and bad habits. This is true for Filipinos as it is for the Japanese. But as a Filipino living in this great country, I have observed various Japanese habits which are both admirable and worth emulating by anyone. We could learn from them. In no particular order of importance, listed below are ten of these habits:

Trains in Japan leave on the dot; it would be disastrous if they didn’t follow the time schedule. Shown here are two shinkansen trains (bullet trains). Image taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shinkansen

1. Be punctual.
When a Japanese sets a particular time, you can count on him/her to observe it. In this way, nobody’s time is wasted. On the other hand, we Filipinos are notorious for following the so-called “Pinoy time,” which unfortunately means “always late.” But the funny thing is, I have particularly observed that here in Japan, when Filipinos make appointments with a Japanese person, they strive hard to arrive on time. And more often than not, they do succeed. The reason for this is obvious: they know that the Japanese will be on time, so they don’t want to be an embarrassment by showing up late. Nakakahiya kasi. But if appointments are made with fellow Filipinos, they tend to revert back to the Pinoy habit. In parties or meetings with fellow Filipinos, we typically have to wait for 1 or 2 hours waiting for others to come. It seems that Pinoys expect other Pinoys to show up late, so they don’t keep the time themselves. The line of thought always goes like this: “Bakit ba tayo pupunta ng maaga? Eh late namang magsisidatingan.”

What do these things imply? To be punctual is a matter of will and priority. We can be on time if we choose to.

2. Do not leave anything on your plate.
There was a time, I was told, during post-war Japan when food was scarce and many people starved. Because of this, they learned to appreciate the value of food. Indeed, children here are taught to empty their plates down to the last grain of rice. It is amazing to see Japanese eating at buffet style (what they call Viking restaurants), eat-all-you-can restaurants with their plates brimming with food, but not leaving anything on their plates uneaten afterwards (except for the uneatable parts, of course). One of my Japanese friends who stayed with us at home (in the Philippines) cleaned his plate every time, much to the delight of my parents. My mom was so particularly impressed with this habit. She wondered why Pinoys, particularly during parties, would fill their plates with so much food they can’t eat, only to throw them afterwards. So much waste. I don’t know how true this is, but there’s this idea that if you finish everything on your plate, you are “pataygutom” or particularly hungry. It appears that it is better to feign only a slight interest on food and to hide one’s appetite in order to not offend the host. Is this true or not?

Nevertheless, there is a lesson to be learned here: waste not, and value food.

3. Develop self-reliance.
I love the concept of DIY = do it yourself. There are many stores here in Japan which operate on this concept. Everything from gardening to plumbing are offered in these stores. As an example, one time we ordered a relatively large bookcase from a catalog. We expected that the bookcase will be delivered “as is” and wondered how many people would actually be coming over to carry it. To our surprise, when our doorbell rang, we found only a single woman carrying several boxed items. Our bookcase, it turned out, was still to be assembled. By us. Assembling it was not part of their service. It came as a shock that we had to do it ourselves. At any rate, the assembly turned out to be rather simple, once we got the hang of it. Because of this, several of the new furnitures in our home were assembled by Baggy himself.

Aside from this, there’s also self-reliance at home. In the absence of household helpers or maids, the Japanese only relied on themselves to do their household chores. Even Filipinos living here have managed to do without household help. Not easy, of course, but still manageable. I think we rely too much on household help in the Philippines, some people actually think that we cannot do away with them. The good news is, we really can. It takes effort, but we learn a lot in this process.

4. Deliver courteous customer service.
One time my sister and I went to an optical store to have our eyeglasses made. While we were seated, my sister was surprised when the store clerk got down on his knees in front of us, so that he was looking up to us, and we were looking down on him. After we have made our purchases, he led us out of the store and politely bowed and thanked us. Coming from the Philippines, it was probably the best customer service my sister has ever experienced. Curious, she then asked me if it is always like that everywhere. Not really, I told her. He was probably overdoing it. But while other stores do not always offer the same regal-like treatment to customers, you can mostly count on them to be polite, courteous, and even smiling (except for the big cities, I guess). I’ve heard of foreigners complaining that the smiles are mostly faked or forced. But who cares? Better a faked smile than a frown, right? They probably have never shopped in the Philippines. The salesclerks there are the grouchiest and rudest people I’ve ever encountered.

As a customer, I would appreciate being served with courteousness and respect. I don’t have to be worshipped like a queen; just treat me with the respect that I deserve as a customer!

5. Develop a strong sports hobby.
In one of our parties, my colleagues started asking one another what were their sports hobbies. Turned out that one of them was an expert in “takkyuu” or table tennis, another was an expert in badminton. One was so hooked on folk dancing, the other on mountaineering. When it was my turn, I half-heartedly told them that I do table tennis, but certainly not with avid interest as theirs. To my dismay, I realized that for me, sports was only a passing fancy. I never really took it seriously. It is a seriously underdeveloped facet of my life.

At the daycare which Aya attends, sportsfest activities are annually held and participated by children as young as one year old. I found this rather amazing, considering that when I was in elementary, I never got to participate in any sports events organized by our school. Sports were reserved only for the able athletes, those who were blessed with talents. I watched many a sports tournament in our school sitting in bleachers! Here in Japan, sportsfests are considered main activities of schools, including elementary and high schools. All of them participate, not just the chosen few. It is not amazing, then, that they would consider sports as valuable as any aspect in their lives.

To be continued…

One of my cousins in the States sent me this photo taken of their new baby, Torin Lucas. He is sooo cute! He reminds me of Aya, who as a baby also used to frown and furrow her forehead in the same way. But no matter what faces they make, babies are so photogenic, don’t you think? Creative parents can think of a thousand and one ways to make use of those shots to amuse other people.
To Noel and Tammy, congratulations! Enjoy the sleepless nights and endless diaper changes. 🙂

The day before Christmas, we attended a party of fellow Pinoys. Of course, where there are Pinoys, expect nothing but good ol’ Pinoy food. Unfortunately, while Pinoy food is undeniably yummy, it usually consists of meaty dishes. Think adobo, kaldereta, paksiw, binagoongang baboy and sisig. All that oil and fat. Mmm, hmm.

So we decided to repent for our sins the next day and stay away from meat for a change. Too much meat is simply unhealthy, you know? I perused through a free magazine featuring several restaurants in Tsukuba, and found one where we can eat seafood. To my delight, there was a restaurant not far away from where we lived. The restaurant is called 天竜本店 (Tenryuu Honten). It is located on the Tsuchiura Gakuen Sen, just after the Nishi-odori intersection.

We ordered a 9-item course dinner, yes, 9 items for each one of us. The course is called あったかなべお膳（Attaka nabe o-zen). Nabe means “pot,” and “nabe ryori” refers to the food that is cooked or boiled in a pot. Aside from the nabe ryori, we had the usual Japanese food like tempura, sashimi, sushi, chawan mushi, cantaloupes for dessert, and four other items the names of which escapes me.

This photo shows the assorted tempura (top right), sashimi (bottom right: raw tuna and shrimp, among others). The covered one at the bottom left is chawan mushi. The big pot at the top left is just for holding the ladles and the chopsticks.

Chawan mushi is a steamed side-dish served in small bowls. (Chawan means “small bowl,” mushi means “steamed.”). It is like the famous Filipino egg-pudding or “leche flan,” minus the sweet taste.

My stomach used to turn when eating raw fish; but surely even that has changed over the years of living here. Incidentally, my favorite is the salmon (orange one at the top row).

This is the seafood nabe. Perfect for the cold weather!

We finally got our seafood “fix.” The only problem was, there was just too much food, we felt like bursting! 🙂

Noticed the new appearance of this blog? Like it? I hope so. I thought that it’s an appropriate time to change our template, coinciding with the start of the new year. The image at the top left even shows a pair of eyeglasses, which incidentally jibes well with the name of this blog, “Salamin.” Salamin is the Filipino word for “eyeglasses” or “mirror.”

Anyway, I just found out that I’ve been tagged by Niceheart. Sounds like fun. It reveals a lot about a person’s experiences and idiosyncrasies. So here’s my list:

1. Sell my Dad’s paintings.
In our house, you will find several paintings hanging on the walls. All of them were painted by my Dad. At the altar of The Salvation Army in Tondo Corps, you will also find a large painting depicting the Salvation Army flag and the road to calvary (I hope they have not replaced it yet). That was also my Dad’s handiwork, one of his masterpieces so to speak. I believe that there are other paintings that have been given away to friends and relatives. Dad’s paintings are one of the most precious legacies that he has left me and my family.

This one can be seen at the dining room. Painted circa 1980.

This was the first of Daddy’s works, after a 20-year hiatus from painting. This was completed sometime in 1998. I bought the painting colors here in Japan and gave it to him as a Christmas present.

2. Write a program.
I suck at writing programs. Sounds a bit unusual for a Physics graduate, but it is unfortunately true for my case. When I was forced to take up programming in one of our courses in college, I had to tap into Baggy’s brains to write my programs. Kaya siguro di ako natuto?

3. Leave home without my health insurance card.
This sounds a bit paranoid. But here in Japan, the insurance card is the first thing that they ask for when you go to the hospital. I’ve made it a habit to always bring my insurance card anywhere I go, even when I go out of the country.

4. Go overseas without a travel insurance.
Years ago we never bothered about buying travel insurance. But we have acquired this habit of buying one for every trip we make – just like most Japanese, I guess. Some people would probably think that this is just a waste of money. But we are seguristas. Besides, some visa applications do require one to present a valid travel insurance as part of the requirements.

5. Drink and drive.
Actually, I’m not much of a drinker. But I always stay away from alcohol during parties because I am always the designated driver.

6. Have braces again.
I had such a bad experience when I wore braces several years ago. Aside from the usual pain and suffering, I had to lose two of my premolars, and then four of my incisors “died” and had to be treated by RCT (root canal treatment). My teeth have been aligned properly alright, but now I have to deal with four yellowing teeth because of the RCT. Ugh. 🙁

7. Have my ears pierced.
Yep, I’ve never had them pierced. My mom didn’t have them pierced when I was young. In retrospect, that was a good thing, because at least now I have a choice about piercing my ears or not. And indeed, I prefer not to. Some girls have had their ears pierced even before they had the chance to decide about it. So I have left my daughter’s ears unpierced, and she is free to do whatever she wants with them when she’s grown-up. I didn’t name her “Kalayaan” for nothing. 😀

8. Eat “nattou.”
Nattou (納豆) is fermented soya beans, usually taken with rice and raw egg. Ewww! I tried it once and vowed never to eat it again. It probably is the stinkiest food I’ve ever encountered. In fairness, I think other people have the same revulsions to bagoong, which I do eat.

Sticky, stinky beans. But people still eat it.

9. Have a dog for a pet.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love dogs. I just don’t want them as pets. 🙂 No, seriously, I was bitten by a dog twice. The same dog bit me twice, one on each leg. I still have my scars to prove it. I just don’t want to take my chances with dogs anymore. Not unless that dog has lost all of its teeth already. 😉

10. Have a laser treatment to correct my sight.
I’m myopic. I’ve worn eyeglasses since I was 11. But I like wearing glasses, really. It will take a lot of convincing for me to undertake something as drastic as laser treatment to cure my sight.

It’s my turn to tag. I’m tagging you, Lai. **Evil grin**